The 40 Days is really a wrap? Really? Tomorrow is the last day. As ready as I am to tie this one up, I also don’t want to let go of it. It was my deepest experience with the 40 Days since my first one four years ago – during which I actually wrote down that I wanted to check out a training with Baron Baptiste, get my 2oo hour, and open a studio. Funny thing about that – it happened almost one year to the day after I wrote it down. I tapped into a a vision and motivation that were like nothing I had ever experienced, and I knew my life had turned much-needed corner. Speaking straight: I started to give a shit about myself again.
And that meant I had to let go of the shit that I was holding on to that was holding me down. I feel like it’s taken four years to wake up fully, figure things out, and get my bearings. After one I did in 2013, I realized that I was afraid move past the rock bottom I hit when I decided to work my way through the first one. I shifted my vision of rock bottom – instead, I declared it fertile new ground. I owned that I had made horrifically bad choices, withdrawn from ties that meant more than anything in the world, and aligned myself with what I thought deserved. There was fallout and rubble from that, but the 40 Days was the fuel for the bulldozer to clean it all up. The trick there? I had to learn to drive the bulldozer.
And now it’s time to park the bulldozer and get to building. I’ve restored and strengthened the bonds I lost touch with during my darkest phase, am creating a studio/business/leadership/mentorship model that presents me with new light bulb moments daily, and am allowing a life to take shape that is better than anything I could have imagined a year ago. (Hold on, I need to pinch myself.) (Again.) It’s not all rainbows and glitter – I see that there’s work to do, but I’m ready to navigate the process and meet life where it meets me.
Time to answer the last of the inquiry questions. I feel like I’ve moved to a new city, and am ready to explore.
